Secret Relationship

I remember liking a white boy and he liked me too, but he said
we could 'go together' if I didn't tell anyone. I was very hurt. It
made no sense to me to be his girlfriend in secret. He didn't
want anyone to know he had a black girlfriend. After that day,
I decided I couldn't be with anyone who was ashamed of me.

You never know where a secret relationship may lead you. I
know a man who thought he had a secret relationship. He met
a girl and he didn't find her attractive, but he thought he'd use
her for sex. A few weeks later he had a baby on the way.


If someone you are dating wants to keep your relationship a secret, that's not a
good sign. He may be embarrassed to be seen with you, or he may have some-
thing to hide. The person you have a relationship with should be excited and
proud to be seen with you. A secret relationship will probably hurt you, because
he may never tell anyone about you, or he may be planning to drop you like a
hot potato.

Confidence = Happiness

Confidence = Happiness

If you're confident, it is a lot harder for someone to upset you, or make you do
something that you don't want to do. Confidence is powerful; you see situations
in such a way that only a confident person can. Confidence is like a strong shield
that can protect you from the many negative influences that you may face.

It's a lot easier to be happy when you're confident. When you don't worry about
what other people might think of you. When you don't worry if you're 'good
enough.' When you don't give up on your dreams...that's confidence...that's
happiness.

• Find ways to improve your life.
• Never give up on your dreams.
• Decide to live a positive life.

  

Calling and Texting Too Much

Have you ever wanted to be with someone so much that you decided to call and
text endlessly? Did that person seem to want to hear from you? If you feel like
the person you want to talk to doesn't want to talk to you, you might want to leave
him/her alone.









I used to be the type of person who believed if I let a guy know how much I
wanted to be with him he would want me too. I did this for years, then finally I
realized..."If he wants to be with me, I shouldn't feel like I'm chasing him."

I know it hurts to be ignored, but the person ignoring you may not have enough 
guts to tell you that they don't want to talk to you or be with you. Also, there is
such a thing as calling and texting too much. You can easily push someone away
if you call and text so much that he/she can't get anything done.

What Is Your Talent?

I might not know you, but I know you have at least one talent. Are you using your
talent to improve your life? Are you using your talent at work? Can you help other
people with your talent?

What is your talent?

 



It's amazing to me when I talk to people and I find out what they do on the side
or for fun. Have you ever thought about turning your talent into an occupation?
If there is something that you love to do and you're good at it, you should incor-
porate that activity into your life every day.

A Few Talent Examples To Get Your Mind Going:

• interior designer
• organizer
• mechanic
• translator
• dancer
• writer
• hairstylist
• cook
• musician
• photographer
• artist
• repairman
• gardener
• manicurist
• realtor   

Toxic Love

I  know a woman who is in love with a man that makes her unhappy. There are
days when her boyfriend wants to spend time with her, but the next time she
sees him he doesn't want to be around her at all. Don't waste your time on toxic
love. The person you love should treat you with respect and make you feel happy.
If he acts like he doesn't want you...Girl let him go!

  It's toxic love if he:

•  Seems to be using you for sex, money, your car, etc.
•  Doesn't act like he cares for you
•  Hurts you physically or verbally  
•  Puts you down
•  Leaves you feeling miserable

Losing Your Temper

Several years ago, I was so upset that I took my anger out on one of my
mother's house plants. I saw the potted plant on the floor, kicked it over,
and stomped the entire thing--dirt and all-- into the carpet. I had lost my
temper.

I wasn't upset at my mom or the plant, I was upset with myself. I hated who
I was. I didn't like my hair, my school, or even the color of my skin. Plus, I
didn't have any friends, so I was very lonely. I didn't know anyone who was
as unhappy as me. I started this blog so I could help the people that feel as
sad as I once was.

When you don't like who you are you're more likely to lose your temper. If
you lose your temper quite often ask yourself this question: "Do I like who I
am?" If the answer is 'no' you must find a way to be happy, because when
you become a happier person you will be less likely to lose your temper. 

My blog post 5 Ways to Build Your Self-esteem Dream, is a good place to
start if you want to like yourself.

5 Ways to Improve Your Mindset

Are you letting negative self-talk stop you from expressing yourself and being
happy? Let today be the day that you improve your mindset.

1. Don't Be Afraid to Talk
      When you're with a group of people you shouldn't just sit there and watch
      everyone else talk. Don't be afraid to join the conversation. Don't worry
      about what other people might think of you, just talk.

2. Focus On Your Strengths
      I believe that everyone is good at something and if you do that something
      every day it will make you happier.

3. Don't Let Criticism Ruin You
      There will always be someone that will criticize you, but you can't let that
      person ruin the way you feel about yourself. You need to stay away from
      this type of person.

4. Spread Positivity
      Help someone feel better about themself and you will feel better too.
      Compliment someone, donate your time, money, or items. Talk to a lonely
      looking person.

5. Try Not to Worry All the Time
      There's no point in worrying, because most situations turn out fine or even
      better than you expected.
    

5 Reasons to Be Confident

1. You'll Make Better Decisions
      When you believe in yourself it's easier to figure out what you should or
      shouldn't do. You also won't worry as much about what other people
      might think of you. When you have confidence, you won't feel like you
      always need someone's approval.

2. You'll Be Nicer
     If you're confident you'll have a more positive attitude and you'll be less
     likely to put other people down. If you put people down all the time you're
     hurting yourself. No one will trust you or want to be around you.

3. You'll Be More Resilient
      You won't let petty situations or petty people upset you. A weak-minded
      and unhappy person can easily be rattled.

4. You'll Feel Good
     When you're happy with yourself life is so much easier, because you see
     things from a more positive point of view. If you don't feel good about
     yourself someone may think you can easily be taken advantage of due to
     your lack of confidence.

5. You'll Look Good
      When you're confident you look better because you smile more. No one
      wants to be around you if you always have a frown on your face.

Butt-Picking

I see it all the time, someone picking their butt. I find it quite gross. It seems to be
an epidemic. Young people.. old people...butt-picking. People picking at the store,
the pizzeria, the park. If it's a public place someone's picking. I don't understand.
Why is this so acceptable? If you pick your butt I'm here to help. 

How to eliminate butt-picking

1. Wash your butt
     Soap and water should do the trick.

2. Wear underwear that fits
     Buy some underwear that do not ride up, so you won't feel the need to dig
     them out.

3. Remember you're in public
     Public places are not for butt-picking.
   

5 Shy People Conversation Tips

If you feel shy or nervous when talking to people or meeting someone new, you're
not alone. Sometimes it's hard to know how to begin a conversation. Don't worry...
I've come up with 5 shy people conversation tips.






1. Smile
      Even if you don't feel like smiling do it anyway. It makes you look friendly and
      more approachable.

2. Make eye contact
      Nervous or not, you must make eye contact with the person you're talking to.
      If you don't, the other person will see you as uninterested.  

3. Introduce yourself
      Tell someone your name and I bet that person will tell you their name too.

4. Don't bad-mouth anyone
      When you first meet someone don't talk badly about anyone, because you don't
      know who that person knows.

5. Compliment the person you talk to
      When you compliment someone you automatically create a positive vibe.

3 Steps to Self-Love

#1 Write Down What You Do Like About Yourself
     You have at least one thing that you do like about yourself. Maybe you're a
     good speller, excellent at math, or a great cook. Perhaps the one thing you
     like about yourself is your hair, eyes, or the fact that you're tall. No matter
     what it is, write it down. Concentrate on the good not the bad.
   
#2 Think Positive (Really!)
      If there is something new or different that you need to do, it's sometimes easy
      to think negatively--this is usually fear. It's OK to sometimes have fear, but
      it should not stop you from having a happy life. Tell yourself that everything
      will work out fine.

#3 Join a Group
      When I was in high school, I had a hard time making friends, so I joined the
      drama club. I made a lot of friends, and I got to do things that I would've
      never done if I'd been sitting at home feeling sorry for myself.

3 Steps to Self-Love

    

Self-Consciousness

There are different types of self-consciousness. There is the type when it's one part
of you that you're self-conscious about, the type when you're self-conscious about
almost everything about yourself, and the type when you feel as if someone is always
watching you or judging you.













Self-Conscious About One Thing 
When I was about twelve, I noticed my oily nose. This bothered me so much that I'd
constantly be applying some sort of oil absorber on my nose. I'm still self-conscious
about it, but I'm not obsessed with my oily nose the way I used to be.

Self-Conscious About Multiple Things
At one time I was also self-conscious about my teeth, my hair, how my breasts didn't
seem to be getting big enough...I could go on and on. You shouldn't worry too much
about things that you can't control like how fast your hair grows or how big your
breasts should be.   

Self-Conscious About What Other People Think 
of You
Do you always feel as if someone is watching you or judging you? Someone probably
is, but you can't constantly worry about it. When someone is looking at you it's not
always a bad thing. 
This person may..  *think you're attractive.
                            *like what you're wearing.
                            *want to ask you out.
                            *think you look familiar.
                            *wonder who you are or what your name is.
                        

5 Signs It's Time For a New Job

You know in your heart when it's time to quit, but in case you're still in denial, here
are 5 signs it's time for a new job.









1. It takes you awhile to get out of your car.
      Taking deep breaths you dread going into the building, and you wonder how
      many more days you can do this.

2. You have no motivation.
      Tasks that you used to love doing, you now hate them. You'd rather sit in the
      break room and do nothing.

3. The entire time you're at work you wish you 
    were someplace else.
     You feel as if going to the doctor would give you more joy.

4. Your job isn't fun anymore.
      Work feels like a chore. The love that you had for your job is long gone.

5. When you leave work you're in a bad mood.
      You feel as if you just wasted eight hours of your life. You're cranky and
       no one wants to be around you.

If you're afraid to leave your job, read my post: How to Leave a Job You Hate.
    

Don't Let Shyness Stop You

Have you ever wanted to do something, but you didn't do it because you were too
shy? When I was younger I wanted to be an actress, but I was so shy I decided
not to. Don't do what I did. If there is something you want to do don't let shyness
stop you. Tell yourself what you want to do is possible and don't worry about what
other people may think of you.








* You want to say "hi" to someone...
   Say "hi" to someone. What's the worst that could happen?

* You want to dance on the dance floor...
   Dance on the dance floor. Don't lean on the wall all night.

* You want to be a singer...
   Be a singer. If you love singing you've got to do this.

* You want to ask someone out...
   Ask someone out. If they say "no" just move on.

* You want to give a speech...
   Give a speech. As long as you practice you'll be O.K.

   Remember, don't let shyness stop you.

Embrace What Makes You Different

Self-esteem is a lot more than looks, but you can't deny looks are important. When
I was younger, I had a gap between my two front teeth and I hated it. It took me a
long time to accept my teeth, but I finally did. Years later, I got TMJ and I was told
I had to get braces to fix my jaw. The braces closed the space between my teeth,
so I had to get used to having no gap. The point is,you should embrace what makes
you look different.

Are you someone who doesn't like the sound of your voice? Is it your accent?
Is it your tone? Don't be a voice hater.  Fran Drescher didn't let her voice stop her 
 from pursuing an acting career.

Take what makes you different and embrace it. 

Love your... 

• ears
• nose
• hair
• freckles
• mouth
• chest
• eyebrows
• chin
• butt
• feet
• legs
• arms
• hands
• teeth
• voice
• SELF

    
                  

Act Like a Celebrity

Act like a positive celebrity please. Celebrities...  

Act Confident
Act confident and you will become confident.

Smile
You will be more approachable and personable.

Accessorize
Here are some ideas:

• earrings
• tattoos
• belts
• necklaces
• scarves
• hats
• eyewear
• rings

Change Styles
Instead of wearing jeans all the time try khaki pants. Instead of wearing pants
all the time try a dress. If you normally don't wear a tie, put one on to see how
it makes you feel.

Try Different Activities
Go places you've never been! Do things you've never done!

Unrealistic Images

I hear about unrealistic images of people all the time and how they supposedly
hurt the self-esteem of young people. I don't believe this for a second. Young
people aren't dumb. They know that it takes a lot of work and photo editing
software to look flawless. Not much of what we see in pictures is real anyway.

If you are mentally hurt by the attractive seemingly perfect people that you see
on t.v., in magazines, and on the internet let me ask you this question... Would
you rather see unpleasing, repulsive, grotesque, homely, and nasty looking peo-
ple instead of attractive people?

3 Of The Worst Mirrors

In my blog post "5 Ways to Build Your Self-esteem Dream", I mention that you
should examine your face in the mirror. The purpose of this is so you'll realize
there's nothing wrong with your face, and that you look the way you should 
look.

This might sound petty, but I always look better in my mirrors at home. I felt
like I had to mention 3 of the worst mirrors to examine your face in.

#1 Your car mirror
     Although you're surrounded by plenty of natural light in the car; the design
     of the mirror must be skewed.

#2 Any clothing store mirror
     When it comes to clothing stores I'm going to blame it on the lighting. I'm
      not sure if that's it, but that's what I think.

#3 The doctor's office mirror
      Sure...go ahead and glance in the mirror, but leave the examining to the doctor.

I like this mirror. 

Bra Straps and Dirty Bras

When did showing your bra straps become a fashion statement?

There was a time when women didn't want their bra straps to be exposed, but I
guess that time has passed. Women used to purchase a t-back, racerback, or a
t-strap bra for those little tank tops and camis that the ladies are wearing. Hey--
not anymore-- some women don't hesitate to show the world what color bra they
have on.

When did showing your cleavage along with your dirty bra become a

fashion statement?

I have nothing against cleavage, but I don't care to see cleavage and the front of a
dirty stretched out bra. This year it seems to be an epidemic. Every time I'm out in
public, I see at least one woman with cleavage wearing a stretched out dirty bra.
Please... cover that ugly bra up!

The Person I Never Want to Be

I never want to be the person who...

* Tries clothes on in the fitting room and leaves them there... inside out.
* Honks my horn in front of someone's house, because I'm too lazy to get out of
   the car.
* Cusses up a storm for no reason at all.
* Brags about what I have.
* Abuses anyone physically or verbally.
* Borrows a lot of stuff to avoid buying it myself.
* Parks on the wrong side of the street.
* Can't be trusted.
* Is always looking for drama.
* Sends out negative vibes.
* Buys an outfit, wears it, and then returns it to the store the next day.
* Is cruel to people or animals.
* Doesn't say 'please' and 'thank you.'
* Takes anger out on an innocent person.
* Is always late.
* Spends money on cable if I can't afford it.
* Is unorganized.
* Puts people down.
* Is jealous.
* Throws trash on the ground.
* Never tries to improve and learn something new each day.

Negative T-shirts

I don't understand why some people wear negative t-shirts. Yesterday, I saw a
woman wearing a shirt that read "If you can't buy happiness steal it." I wondered...
How do you steal happiness? Do you steal items to be happy, or do you make
someone else unhappy as a way of stealing their happiness, therefore somehow
turning it into joy?

Wearing a negative t-shirt is like broadcasting to the world that you're a negative
person. I wonder why someone would wear a shirt that clearly tells everyone that
they're unhappy? I try to stay away from negative people, especially when it's
written all over his or her shirt.

Compliments List

Do you have a compliments list? This is a list of compliments that you have received.
I started my list to build my confidence up and it helped a lot. I use to read it over
and over again, until I got to the point where I finally didn't need my list anymore.
You should pay attention to the positive things that people tell you, and don't be
one of those people who says to themselves, "I know they're lying to me." When
someone gives you a compliment take it as the truth. Don't assume that it isn't true
and from the heart.

Plain and simple...write down every compliment that you get, and you'll build up
your self-esteem in no time.

Compliments List

Nobody Has It All

Have you ever wished you could be someone else? It might seem like someone
is living a dream life, but you'd probably be wrong. I guarantee you that this
someone has something that you don't want. You never know what a person
is dealing with, have dealt with, or will deal with in the future.

Instead of wishing you were someone else, change yourself. The person you
envy has worked for what they have. If you want what he or she has, go out
and work for it; and remember...nobody has it all.

Ignore Negative Comments

Don't be too quick to let negative comments bother you. Someone that says
negative comments to you is a very unhappy person, and they have a desperate
need for attention. This person wants to shake you up and bring you down for
their own entertainment. Try your best to ignore this desperate, needy, and
very unhappy person. 

Love = Occupation

I've always loved to write, but I had never considered making a living doing it.
Why? I don't know. I didn't decide to pursue writing until last year. I started
reading books about writing. I also submitted poems to different journals and
then I decided to start this blog.

Is there something that you love to do that could become your occupation?


 
 

Job Interview With a Criminal Record

I know a young lady who got into a fight, so now she has a criminal record. She's
having trouble getting hired, even though she's been on several interviews. When 
they get to to the question about criminal history, she's honest with the interviewer
about her record, but she feels it's still keeping her from getting the job. I told her
next time she should try looking the interviewer in the eye and say, "Please give me 
a chance, I know I can do a good job."

Sometimes it might not seem like it, but there are people willing to give
you a chance, even if you have a criminal record. 

Why Cohabitation is Bad

I believe that a couple should not live together unless they're married. I'll tell you
why cohabitation is bad.

Cohabitation is nasty.
If you live with the person that you are dating and then you break up... and then
your next relationship you live with them and then you break up...do you see a
pattern here? Would you be happy to find out that the person you're in love with,
has already lived with ten other people?

Users love cohabitation.
A user doesn't want to live with you because they love you. A user is looking to
you for a service. Maybe they need a maid, a cook, or someone to help them
pay their bills.

Cohabitation is bad.

Feel Wrong for Doing Right?

I know a man who discovered internal theft at his workplace, and he was afraid
if he told someone, his job would be in jeopardy. I asked why he felt that way,
and he thought that somehow someone would pin the fault on him.

You should never feel wrong when you know you're doing the right thing.

Feel wrong for doing right?

Be Honest

Have you ever given someone your number, or met someone that you liked, but
then you realized that you only have "friend feelings" for them? Sometimes it's
hard to tell that person how you really feel, but you have to, or you'll both be
unhappy.

One day, a guy came to my house and he wanted to kiss me. I told him that I
only kissed at night, and he believed me. He came back that night, so I had to
be honest. I told him I only had friend feelings for him, and he didn't bother me
again.

I know a girl who gave her number to a guy, and he called her for 15 years. She
was tired of him calling her, but she wouldn't say a word. The only reason he
stopped calling, was because she moved to another location.

You deserve to not be bothered by someone that you don't want, and the other
person deserves to know how you really feel.

Be Honest

Afraid to Dance?

I've watched Dirty Dancing twice this week, plus on other numerous occasions.
To me, dancing is a lot like life.

Do you stand against the wall afraid to dance? Are you terrified that you might
get up and make a fool of yourself? Or, do you dance and not worry about how
you appear to other people?

When it comes to life, you don't want to be so afraid to move that you don't
move at all. You don't want to be someone who never does what your heart tells
you to do, because you're scared.

You can't live your life being afraid, or you'll never accomplish anything that you 
want to accomplish. Get out on life's dance floor and move!

Afraid to dance?

Love Your Color

When I hear someone say that they need to go to the tanning bed
(burning bed), I always say "You should be happy with your color;
that's the way you were born."

There was a time I wasn't happy with my color either. I used to want
to be lighter, because I have a sister who is a lot lighter than me. I'm
happy with my color now.

There are light people who want to be darker.
There are dark people who want to be lighter.
No matter your shade you should ...

LOVE YOUR COLOR.

Speak Up for Yourself

Yesterday, I spoke to my insurance agent, and he tried to talk me into adding more
costly items to my policy. I repeatedly told him no, and he had "reasons" why I should
say yes. The old me would have fallen for it, because the old me didn't have much
backbone. There have been times when not speaking up for myself was the wrong
decision.

Years ago, I had my tub replaced, and in the process the worker ripped part of the
wallpaper off of the wall. He also got blue paint on the ceiling. I didn't say word, but
I should have.

#1  Don't let someone talk you into something that you don't want to do.

#2  If you paid for a service and it wasn't good service... speak up.

 

Speak Up for Yourself

 

Accepting Compliments

The other day I was talking to one of my pretty co-workers, and I couldn't
believe what she told me. She said that she felt ugly. She thought people were
lying to her if they gave her a compliment, and she said that compliments make
her uncomfortable. I found it so odd that she felt this way, but I figured she
probably wasn't the only one.

Here's a little poem for anyone who feels the way she does.

What makes someone ugly is an ugly attitude.

Bad words from their mouth and acting rude.

Compliments should make you feel good inside.

They aren't supposed to make you want to go hide.

A compliment is a positive expression.

I hope that you learned something good 

from this lesson.

Accept Compliments

Locked Out

Yesterday, I was getting ready to go to the bank and the mailbox, but I couldn't
get in my car. My 11 year old son had put paperclips in both of my car door
locks. I cried. I yelled. I sat in silence for about an hour, then I finally got it
together.

A few hours later, after my sister got home from work, I walked to her house to
borrow her car. I got to mail my bills (yeah!), but the bank had already closed.

My sister told my parents what had happened, so they came over this morning.
I told my father he was wasting his time, but he had gotten into the car in
about 15 minutes. I was surprised and relieved. He believed he could do it...
and he did.  

car

Being Taken Advantage Of ?

I think if you feel like you're being taken advantage of you probably are. People will
continue to take advantage of you as long as you let them. You have to have enough
confidence to speak up and change the situation.

You're being taken advantage of if people you know...

 

1.  Only show up at suppertime.

2.  Borrow a lot of your stuff, so they won't have to buy their own.

3.  Drop their kids off at your house, and leave without asking if it's OK.

4.  Constantly bum gum, nasty cigarettes, money, etc.

5.  Call you only when they need something because they know you won't say no.

Being taken advantage of ?

Why I Keep a Journal

I've kept a journal since I was 10 years old. I originally wrote down all of my
"deep dark secrets", but I don't do that anymore. I feel better after writing in
my journal. Mead notebooks make good journals, because they hold up well.

The type of information I like to write down is:

• Where I went
• Where I need to go
• Where I want to go
• What I cooked
• Who I saw
• What I bought
• Whether I'm happy or sad
• Who came over
• Who called

My journals

Awkward Etiquette

How many times have you been in an awkward situation and you didn't know
what to do or say? This is my version of awkward etiquette.

Speak up if someone...

 1. Has something in their teeth or something hanging out of their nose.
     You know you would want somebody to tell you!

 2. Has their tag sticking out of the top of their shirt.
     Just tell the person.

 3. Owes you money.
     If you don't speak up you may never get paid back.

Don't say a word if someone...

1. Has flatulence. 
    If you just walked into the room just walk out (if you can), but if you can't,
    go to the other side of the room.

2. Has body odor (unless you know for a fact that they haven't heard of
    deodorant).
    Chances are this person knows that they smell. They either don't care, or 
    they just haven't found a deodorant that works for them.

3. You don't know well is bending over and you can see their butt-crack
    or their thong.
    Just look away.

Awkward...

 

Beware of the Dream Crashers

I'm here to tell you to beware of the Dream Crashers. These are people who tell
you that... "Your dream will never happen."  "That is impossible."  "Try something
else." "You can't do that."

When I was 15, I wanted to be a model, but at the time I had a space between my
two front teeth. I was told to get my teeth fixed first. After that I tried to put model-
ing out of my head, so my modeling dream didn't happen. 

My husband wanted to be a graphic designer when he was in high school. "Graphic
design isn't for you," his teacher said. He's trying to get into it now, but it has taken
him almost 20 years to do so.

Everybody has a dream. Follow your dream and don't let any Dream Crashers get
your the way.

Follow your dream.

CONFIDENCE

Charismatic in your ways

Ongoing improvements in your life

Never giving up on your dreams

Finding ways to be fearless

Investing time in yourself and others

Deciding to live a positive life

Each day is a day to cherish 

Needing to experience new things

Charismatic because you know yourself

Eager to feel the sun on your skin

Confidence

Negative and Positive Social Networking

I recently closed one of my social networking website accounts, because the web-
site was too negative. I felt like I was in a bad place every time I went there. I saw
a lot of rude and demeaning comments toward other people; the comments were
on a general page that anyone could see. 

I also joined  a social networking website that I really like, and it's called Pinterest.
Pinterest has a cheerful environment with a lot of pretty pictures and positive com-
ments. On Pinterest you're praised and enlightened, not criticized and degraded.

If you're on a social networking website that leaves you feeling unwanted, sad, or
mad...LEAVE!

Leave negative websites.

Time For Yourself

I was talking to one of my co-workers today, and she told me she feels as if she's
being "pulled like a rubber band." There are a lot of people in her life wanting her
to do things for them. I told her she should make sure that she gets at least an hour
a day for herself. I also suggested that she set a timer and tell her (lazy) husband
that this is her time.

You have to make time for yourself because...

You deserve it.
You will feel better.
You will think more clearly.

Remember...an hour a day.

Communicating with Negative Co-workers

More than 95% of the time, I can get along with negative co-workers. I try to
observe them, and talk to them, to figure out why they're so negative. I let them do
most of the talking, because what they say is valuable information as to what their
real problem is. Talk to your co-workers about positive things like: how nice it is
outside, a good restaurant they could go to, or give them a compliment. The key
here is not to let these people make you negative too.

negative co-worker

Self-esteem & Organization

I believe that self-esteem and being organized go hand-in-hand. The more organ-
ized I am, the better I feel. Being disorganized makes me feel scattered and un-
prepared. These are 4 things you can do to be more organized and feel better.

1. Make an Errands List
    When you have several errands to run, write down every stop that you need to
    make. This ensures that you don't leave an errand out. It's not fun to get home
    and realize that you forgot to do something.

2. Pick Out Your Clothes the Night Before
    If you don't do it... start doing it. Save the stress of looking for an outfit, plus
    you'll save yourself a lot of time. Use that extra time to eat breakfast, fix your
    hair, or put on some makeup.

3. If You Set an Alarm...
    Get up when the alarm goes off. Don't hit snooze, and don't turn it off and lie back
    down.
 
4. Be On Time
    You know how long it takes to get ready. Allow for plenty of "get ready time." 
    Also allow for drive, walk, bike, or bus time. Being late is not only rude, but it
    makes you look bad too.

Time to organize

    
              

Blame Game

I hear a lot of people blaming others for their misfortunes. It's odd that they don't
see-- they are the blame. Here's a little poem.

Blame Yourself

If you're broke don't smoke.

Having cable puts no food on the table.

Don't own a dog if you can't afford hog.

Your outfit is nice, but you can't even buy rice.

Is it worth it to starve for a flashy new car?

Hair and nails done, but no shoes for your son.

Your rent-to-own TV you really don't need.

If I made you mad oh boy am I glad.

Maybe you'll change your ways

And have a future with better days.

Blame Game

Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone

I recently went on a trip that I was afraid to go on, because I would have to ride in
an airplane. I knew statistically airplanes were safe, but the thought of falling out
of the sky kept creeping into my mind. I told myself that I needed to get out of my
comfort zone, and I'm glad I did.

I decided that the worst that could happen to me was death, so I had nothing to
lose. I met a lot of interesting people, attended two parties, and visited Washing-
ton, DC.

Every now and then, get out of your comfort zone and you'll probably be glad you
did.

Smithsonian Castle     photo courtesy: Katrina Cureton

Advice for My Former Self

I found some of my old writing the other day --and after reading through it-- I
realized that I had forgotten how extremely insecure I was. 

This is some advice I would've given my former self:

Walk slower and get to know people.
I used to walk really fast, so people wouldn't see me. I'm sure that I appeared as if
I was too busy, or didn't want to socialize. Being afraid to talk to people only hurt
me.

If people are laughing...
it doesn't mean they're laughing at you. 
You probably just came in at the end of a conversation, or maybe someone just 
told a funny joke.

Your hair will grow back.
I had too many chemicals put on my hair and a lot of my hair fell out. At the time,
it was very devastating to me. I could have worn a wig, but I didn't. Hair grows
and if it doesn't... wear a wig. I own 13 wigs and 4 hair pieces.

Don't cover your mouth when you laugh.
No matter what your mouth looks like, people have already seen how it looks.

my wigs

28 "get to know you" Questions

I know some of these questions are weird, but they are actual questions I've
asked people. If any of these questions make you uncomfortable, don't ask the
question.

1. What's your last name?
2. What's your favorite color?
3. Where do you live?
4. How long was your longest relationship?
5. Do you have any pets?
6. When is your birthday?
7. Do you like cats?
8. What's your middle name?
9. How old are you?
10. Are you an only child?
11. What's your favorite TV show?
12. Do you go camping?
13. Are you superstitious? 
14. Do you like sports?
15. Do you believe in ghosts?
16. Do you go to church?
17. Have you been baptized?
18. What's your favorite movie?
19. What's your least favorite movie?
20. Have you ever been in a wreck?
21. What kind of magazines do you read?
22. Do you drink?
23. Do you smoke?
24. Can you swim?
25. Do you want to be cremated or buried?
26. Do you have any tattoos?
27. Do you have a best friend?
28. Do you have any kids?

28 "Get to know you" Questions

Afraid to Make a Mistake?

I was talking to someone yesterday, and he told me that sometimes he doesn't do
something, because he's afraid of making a mistake. Nobody enjoys making a mis-
take, but it's sometimes OK if you're trying something new or positive. Being afraid
to make a mistake could keep you from learning how to drive a car, learning a new
skill, or becoming the person you really want to be.

Not afraid anymore.

3 Self-esteem Destroyers

There was a time when I let jealousy, obsession, and hatred control my life.
Until I got rid of  those three things, my self-esteem suffered.

Jealousy   
I was jealous of my friends, people on TV, and even my sister. I would focus on
what they had and wish I had it. One thing I wished for was to have long hair. I
had to get over it. Now I'm just happy to have hair. I also used to wish that I was
prettier, but I'm over that too. There will always be someone that looks better than
me.

Obsession
When I was in school, I was obsessed with different guys. It not only drove them
away, but it made me look like a fool. I would write their names all over my note-
book and on every chalkboard and every classroom that I had been in. I was
embarrassing those guys and instead of liking me, they disliked me. Now I under-
stand why.

Hatred
It takes a lot of energy to hate. The person that I used to hate the most...that was
me. When I began to love myself, the hate, jealousy, and obsession went away. I
know I have no reason to be jealous of anyone. I have no reason to be obsessed
with anyone either and neither do you.

3 Self-esteem Destroyers...gone!

 

3 Reasons to Love Job Interviews

1. Yeah! You got an interview
That alone should get you excited, so act excited to be there. Even if you're
nervous, don't let that take your enthusiasm away. Treat this interview like gold.

2. You get to promote yourself
Promoting yourself should be easy. Wear something nice,smell good, smile,and
you're on your way to success.

3. You get to talk to a person face to face
Face to face is great because the interviewer can see and  hear how excited you
are about the job. This can't be conveyed on paper or in a text.

3 Reasons to Love Job Interviews